Do you really know what true love is? Do you envy those happy and loving couple around you? Whether you are single or in a relationship, you must understand that love is like a garden. For it to be beautiful and colourful, you need to take the time to look after it, maintain it regularly, continually get rid of faded flowers and plant new flowers from time to time. Therefore, if you also want to claim eternal happiness within your future couple, you have to make efforts on a daily basis (and here, even the smallest efforts count). But where to start ? Here are some surprising tips you’ll get from couples who have been together for a long time and have managed to stay in the honeymoon phase.
Go to bed at the same time
According to a study by students at the University of Pittsburgh, women who sleep at the same time as their husbands are the happiest wives in their marriage. The same study proved that women who are not completely satisfied with their marriage do not sleep at the same time as their husband, but wait until he is already asleep before going to bed.
Of course, not all couples are lucky enough to have a schedule that allows them to go to bed at the same time every day. If this is your case, just make sure to find other moments of “connection” during the day. The fact is that going to bed at the same time gives a feeling of closeness and security. If you manage to reproduce this same feeling, once in the day, it’s all good.
Don’t be afraid to go to bed feeling sad (or angry)
I’m not teaching you anything by telling you that even the happiest of couples have arguments (more or less serious in some cases). We are then used to hearing that it is inadvisable to fall asleep while being angry with the other. This advice is justified on some levels, but when you really pay more attention to it, it is clear that this is not the way the happiest couples in their relationship behave.
You argued with your partner. No solution has been found yet, but it’s bedtime. Do not force things, go to bed even if you are still angry, sad or angry. Trying to find a solution at all costs will not help matters. On the contrary, it is in this way that you will aggravate the situation even more. Pushing yourself will get you nowhere. Also, the more tired you are, the more likely you are to say nonsense (things you will regret the next day)
The secret ? Wait until the next day to come back to your problems. It is no coincidence that it is said that “the night brings advice”. In addition, you will be more lucid and therefore more able to solve your problems effectively. Some couples will even tend to forget about the problem once both partners have had a good night’s sleep. If the problem is not very serious, why waste time trying to talk about it?
Adopting the right degree of honesty
For a relationship to be able to claim a happy and lasting result, the truth must have an important place for both partners. However, there is a big difference between “telling the truth” and “hurting with the truth”. You should always be sure to tell your partner the truth while being kind and caring.
Before expressing yourself, always consider the sensitivity of your partner. If you know that certain sentences will be difficult to hear, be sure to be as far-sighted as possible. You might be tempted to think that this person has been with you for a long time, so you don’t have to mince words anymore.
And yet, whether you have been in a relationship for a few weeks or for several years, the rules are always the same. Before you say something, ask yourself, “How would a close friend take it?” In this way, you will have a neutral point of view on the situation.
Have friends on their own
Having friends in common is a good thing, but you also need to have friends on your side. And for good reason, men and women who go out regularly (alone) with their friends are happier in their couple and even in their marriage.
You don’t have to be glued 24/7 to your partner. You also need to be able to have fun with him/her and without him/her. People with a large circle of friends are more likely to have a healthy relationship. And for good reason, they do not only focus their energy for happiness within their couple.
Result: the two partners are completely independent. They are not isolated and have a life outside of their romantic relationship. It may seem trivial, but it is essential to have a life in addition to your life as a couple. Contrary to what you might be tempted to think, this does not detract from the relationship, but on the contrary, enriches it.
Do not put children before the couple
Do you have children? If that’s the case, I’m not teaching you anything by telling you that it is really very exhausting to take care of them all day long, to educate them, to make sure that they are well, and this, whatever whatever their age. However, you must understand that by focusing all your energy on your offspring, you will have less time to give to your partner.
When you have kids at home, you can’t just go home to “find your other half”. It will also be very difficult for you to find time to be alone. Your children are your responsibility, so you must ensure their well-being (at all times). But this is not a reason to abandon your couple or to no longer pay attention to your partner.
Once the children are all in bed, take the opportunity to be with your partner. Instead of going straight to your bed or logging on to your phone, spend time with your significant other. You can have a glass of wine in front of a cheese platter, watch your favorite show while snuggled up, take a bath together, etc.
Do not be afraid of displays of affection in public
At home, on the way to the office, at the supermarket, in the doctor’s line, in the movie theatre…don’t be afraid of public displays of affection. The happiest couples are those who will not hesitate to walk hand in hand in the street, to cuddle in front of the family, to kiss each other in front of friends.
You may not realise it, but these little public displays of affection will strengthen your bond. It is also a way to tell your partner that you are not ashamed to be with him/her. On the contrary, you are proud of your relationship and you want the whole world to know that you are together!